This weekend, I tried something new.
I went to my local temple. I have not gone to any kind of organized spirituality in over 30 years. Part of this was my severe discomfort of social gatherings. I handled this by arriving late and sitting in the back to not draw attention. If I felt that same socail discomfort, the doors were close enough that I could leave.
The other reason is my past distaste of organized religion. Every time I wanted to attend, I would show up and be welcome by soneone telling me there would be a charge to enter. I got so angry that to simply go pray and help my recovery I was being forced to pay up. I just left, disillusioned and upset.
Lately, in addition to meditating and starting to see a new counselor, I started connecting to God for my anxiety, depression and piece of mind. It has been pleasant so I Google searched for my local temple and decided to attend.
I showed up and there was a lot of singing going on. It was very different as opposed to someone brought listeninv to reading and preaching to attendees from a rabbi up front. Later, there was a short service and it was not anything like I expected. This was more about life issues and finding solutions through God. There were not even prayer books but a PowerPoint on a screen everyone could follow.
I made it through the experience. This was because what was going on around me was exciting and fascinating. It was unlike any service I had ever attended before.
Afterwards, a few people introduced themselves. They seemed pleasant enough but again I kept to myself and observed.
A few minutes later, one of the temple administrators explained this was a messianic temple, explained that this was a combination of Jews and Gentiles and if I was ok with this. I told her I was lost in my life and looking for help through spirituality and was open to anything.
She then invited me to attend a short Bible study session with three other people. I was ok with this as it was not a lot of people and went to a small room.
Again, as a former educator, I love learning new things and found that the session opened me up to new ideas. It was also a time to connect to people going through a similar journey to me and I found that comforting not being alone.
I am planning to go back for a couple of weeks to see if this is a good fit. I will work on my aversion to social situations and learn at the same time. I have made a commitment to have God in my life as I continue my recovery and hope this is an additional step in the right direction.
My reasoning is this is the right time for this step in my life. I realize that spirituality is not in everyone’s plan with recovery. The old saying goes ‘everyone must follow their own path’. Mine now includes praying and listening to bible passages daily in addition to meditating, deep breathing exercising and journaling.
I heard that this is the season of renewal.
Here’s hoping my journey is furthered with mine. Happy holidays to all.
How does your faith help you deal with any issues you are working through? Please leave comment.